| 10 YEAR LIFE PLAN: shooting for the stars |
[May. 6th, 2010|12:05 am] |
names of lunar modules, and subsequently, my children:
spider
snoopy
eagle
intrepid
aquarius
antares
falcon
orion
challenger
and yes indeed the 9th child will be a challenger (to the health of my uterus). |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 7th, 2010|01:00 am] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | das racist | ] |
whats up sexy?
lets see.
i got beyonce bangs & hairdo
I did it myself with the help of about a billion youtube videos and chola walgreens hair product reviewers. I wanna thank you all. Special shout out to the ethic hair message boards... I love u and your devotion to deep massage treatments.
ive changed so much since working at AA. I constantly listen to d-rate rap music. i feel like i have a terribly on-color (as opposed to off-color) sense of humor and im slowly losing my grip on the english language as I sink lower and lower into the world of MTV ebonics. AA is weird. It's all young people with no real insight on life, which isn't bad because theyre hilarious and fun but it takes away a level of complexity that I miss. It's also a paradox that I stand around looking at naked girls all day, flirting with hot dudes and helping ballsy trannies pick out outfits (read: paradise) and still feel so begrudingly underpaid.
are you kidding? this looks like a shot from a russ meyer film. but no its actually an AA ad.
I FINALLY HAVE A MAC. I can't stop using it. I ended up taking it to a bar (long story but I didn't use it, I just had to carry it with me), getting wasted and already dropped it, so I have truly made it my own.
The Indian supreme court just issued a statement saying that premarital sex is totally legal so as a proud, patriotic and very special Indian Lady, I have decided to put down the stone for good that I would normally hurl at those hyderabad hosebags! but no seriously. hosebags also got appropriated, GUARANTEED a whopping 30% in the political realm. Basically, 1/3 of congress MUST be female. Mayors must be rotated so atleast every 3 elections, a female must win. This is absolute law In every level of court, legislative meeting or pizza party. I think the US has about a 10% female political representation in congress (ok so this is a nap-inebriated "fact" I picked up in my American Politics class so I might be totally off. I just know its fucking low as compared to the general pop.) so this is fucking crazy. How does a country with so much female infanticide have this much affirmative action? In fact, due to female infanticide, some regions have a 1000:700 male to female ratio, so it's actually pretty reflective of their general society. Unbelievable. I will never get India, but I do love it. What a fucking shitshow!
I'm 21. I am also totally fucking miserable and just straight up grumpy.. Is it because I have a huge Math assignment due in about 8 hours instead of sleep? No... I don't actually care about that. You see, adulthood is bondage. You can't escape the pessimism, the soul-crushing force that destroys any ability to feel raw emotion. I used to lie awake in wonder at this town. Now I can barely get out of this bed. I can look at a writhing, dancing man in a solid gold outfit on a date with the most incredible man and eating the best $35 dollar meal i've had in my life (for free) and feel unsatisfied. Maybe I am just spoiled. OR MAYBE... the best parts of my life have already passed. maybe the rest of my life will just be me, sitting at home, jerking off to tittaycitay.com and wondering why i am such a grumpy gus. what more do I want???? jesus christ. a year ago, my whole week would brighten with a simple funny richard pryor t-shirt or having a homeless man yell "i wanna get that pregnant!" at me and laughing furiously. what the fuck do I do? I want to start writing more to cheer myself up (I crack myself up!) but instead I am just bitching again. I'm perpetually PMSing. I am going to try watching clueless on Nicole's netflix account. Wish me luck :( |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 12th, 2010|10:57 pm] |
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im trying to make this etching. its so important, its the first thing that i ever made thats had such capacity for such multiplicity and permanence. its totally fucking heavy. shouldnt it be something beautiful and touching and funny? ive been either numb or in denial or genuinely kind of happy and good. i was so bummed last week and now that we've broken up, it feels a lot calmer. its so terrible and wonderful to be in a relationship where you feel like you constantly have to win the other persons approval. so now, calm. my room is so big, i have so much room to play, hang out, live. ive been taking a lot of drugs and taking baths with strangers and not being too entirely productive, but i feel like a fucking million bucks. ive been watching a lot of porn and so far its been a wonderful ethno-safari. i shaved my black puss for the first time in a year. what should i draw? |
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| girls girls girls |
[Dec. 15th, 2009|10:26 pm] |
girls! why are they so jaw-droppingly graceful? how can you see one smile and think the world is okay and the sun is shining and make you feel as happy as watching a little boy in overalls and no shirt playing with his blind puppy? why do their tits taste like champagne? how can they move like a gazelle? how are they so soft and supple with little perfect pink pussies and laugh at all your jokes? how can they feel like theyre your best buds one minute and you can take them into wide fields of lavender and do them missionary style, tell them you love them the next? why are the words theyre always whispering tenderly in your ear so beautiful and exciting? what the fuck is with that incredible posture? why are they so perfect and alluring? how do they look so good in purple? nobody looks that good in purple! how can you have one conversation with one and all of a sudden youre BUYING THEM CRYSTALS?? why is everybody always writing songs about them? whether its "she left me with herpes" or "femme fatale" everybody won't shut up about girls!
am i even a girl?????? why do none of the things above apply to me? sometimes i feel so much like a dirty dumb boy or even an ape. how am i always bleeding? (not menstrually, just clumsy!). how come my hairdo makes me look like a lionel richie bust and i have the posture and greasiness of an onion ring? how come i'm always yelling like someone just caught fire? why am i so bad at ice skating? maybe im just a bad problem solver. did they cut off my balls at birth and never told me? should i try to pee standing up?? i just wish i knew how to make myself work |
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| a review of my phone photos |
[Oct. 2nd, 2009|10:59 pm] |
i had to go to the SF zoo to do a behavioral study on a primate of my choice. this was the first assignment so the project was just to watch a group for an hour or so and write a free-form narrative (how goddamn poetry circle is this?) about them.
in the first five minutes, the francois langurs delight me and woo me and fill me with a humble yet overwhelming joy like i'm watching my own kid get his first moustasche. euphoric & elated, i watch them in awe for atleast 20 minutes, my notes forgotten on the side.
once i start taking notes, i notice one particularly furtive little asshole (i call him tony danza) picking bugs out of one of his girlfriends (named ketchup). me and my classmates get super excited and point and almost hoot ("wow they are GROOMING!!!! FASCINATING"). we are a bunch of regular jane goodalls. but it was about to get better: lo and behold, his special lady friend turns around and bends down in front of him. she puts up her tail and HE EATS HER BUTT!!! NO WAY! WHAT THE HELL! occasionally he pulls back to pull out small bugs with his hands but for about a good five minutes, he is just going to town on her ass:
theres some sweet action shots!!!!!!!!!!!!
afterwards, they cuddle and climb to the top of the cage where they watch the sun go down(!!!!!!). shortly after, a disgruntled zoo keeper kicked us out. what a magical afternoon. such noble creatures... so like us in so many ways.
did you guys know im a hand model for xanath ice cream?
(glint not photoshopped)
love
tess |
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| happiest. news. ever |
[Sep. 19th, 2009|11:31 pm] |
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WOOOHOOOO I AM GOING TO NEW YORK WITH JOHNNY OCT 22ND TO 26TH yes yes yes yes yes |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 7th, 2009|03:30 pm] |
i had the best weekend ever!
me and celine having interracial coffee
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 2nd, 2009|06:22 pm] |
hey suckers!
i got the job (phew) at American Apparel!
which is good because I need to pay rent AT MY BRAND NEW APARTMENT with super nice girls!
and check this OUT! kitty will not LEAVE MY SIDE! there is barely any sunlight in my room (not at all actually) and its fucking expensive but it feels really good to not have to worry about my roommates hating me. they turned out to be really crazy at the end.
im pooped
i just wanted to post the cat, its the cutest thing that happened to me all day
love
tessy |
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| they will slay him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
[Aug. 27th, 2009|10:25 am] |
from now on whenever people leave weird religious comments about my lifestyle could you guys please record yourself saying it and leave in as a .wav or something? i want to make it slo-mo and scary sounding and make a dance tape out of it. what the fuck do people think my bullshit livejournal is, a fucking screenwriting workshop? are you an agoraphobic homeless man with an advanced case of schizophrenia standing in the middle of a busy intersection? no? then why the fuck are you yelling at me like that? oh shit. now i'm worried that it's my dad. if it is you dad, i'm sorry i'm so creepy and gross and i'm sorry youre a closet homo in an arranged marriage but everything is fine and we are all having the best time and atleast i am going to do really well in these math classes this semester, they seem super interesting and hopefully keep my attention!!!
this is my favorite song right now
I already have 3 math classes but should I just throw this one in there?
Real Analysis I
Description: Critical development of analysis: Bolzano-Weierstrass and Heine-Borel theorems; limits, continuity, differentiability, integrability.
It sounds ok, but the counselor made it sound like a huge deal. Or I could take some bullshit sex class and listen to a bunch of shit I already know |
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